The Control

Emotional wounds remain in memory

When we make a choice, most of the time it is not made through a meticulous analysis of objective pros and cons, but is influenced

- by the past,

- by unconscious memories

The prefrontal cortex is able to inhibit the expression of some behaviors that respond to fear, but unconscious memories remain and continue to influence our decisions and choices.

We go to great lengths to behave in a different way so that we do not find ourselves in the same situation again

But how come it doesn't work?

What has been leads to choosing behaviors that may have served us at one time, but in the present often re-propose choices that are outdated and not inherent to the true context, situation, let alone who we are today.

Trying to have more and more control leads us to an apparent rationality, resulting in the repression of emotions we do not like, but also less and less intensity to those we do like, such as joy, lightness, pleasure, love...

Control cuts us into two pieces and throws one away, leaving us only with a constantly working head and a controlling mind.

But what, in my experience and perhaps yours as well, becomes apparent is that:

- control does not have a long life.

We may have managed to exercise control even for a long time but when a situation arises again that moves conscious or unconscious emotional memories, we find ourselves following impulses that pull us toward choices and behaviors guided by unconscious memories of the past.

The techniques proposed by Western psychotherapy are directed at empowering the rational side, with the idea of bringing a form of control of and over emotions.

Self-analysis, on the other hand, promotes learning new behaviors with the goal of preventing emotional information from trespassing and influencing conscious thought.

But in my experience, the lived experience is stored in the corpus, the unconscious memories of fear recorded by the amygdala remain, and participate in this continuous conscious and unconscious feed-back with the past.

The choices that are made in the present and the resulting behaviors, even when they appear rational, have the mark of the past; what happened once is still embers ready to become fire at any moment.

What has been leads to choosing behaviors that may have served us at one time, but in the present often re-propose choices that are outdated and not inherent to the true context, situation, let alone who we are today.

Trying to have more and more control leads us to an apparent rationality, resulting in the repression of emotions we do not like, but also less and less intensity to those we do like, such as joy, lightness, pleasure, love...

Control cuts us into two pieces and throws one away, leaving us only with a constantly working head and a controlling mind.

But what, in my experience and perhaps yours as well, becomes apparent is that:

- control does not have a long life.

We may have managed to exercise control even for a long time, but when a situation arises again that moves conscious or unconscious emotional memories, we find ourselves following impulses that pull us toward choices and behaviors driven by unconscious memories of the past.

Our emotional wounds remain in memory and it is useless to want to control, deny or repress them, but the good news is that we can do something about it:

- take power away from the mind

- become the master of yourself,

- master of your emotions,

And to do this, a course of psychodance therapy and Active Meditation is my suggestion:

- meditation,

- heart

- courage.

Yesiii it is possible for each of us

With love

Deepti